A Chaos Story
by SSSRHA
Summary: In which the author is trying to write a Chaos Fic, but the characters are not very cooperative. (Or: In which there is common sense.) One-shot, Mock Fic!


Percy Jackson was the strongest person in Camp Half-Blood. His sword bore the dust of a hundred monsters, and his smile never failed to brighten up everyone in the room. Percy was the best swordsman of the century.

Percy's life was perfect.

Then Bryan showed up.

It happened at midnight. Bryan was being chased by the Minotaur a Percy, just happening to be near the border, immediately helped him across and defeated the monster.

Bryan scowled turned to him and said-

Bryan's face blanked. "Uh...line?"

SSSRHA sighed. "This is the _third time!_ Is 'I didn't need your help!' really that hard to say?!"

Bryan cleared his throat. "Oh, yeah, about that, why is my character such a jerk?"

Then Percy decided to speak up. "I was also wondering about that actually." He got the script out of... _somewhere_ and flipped it open. "He's supposed to steal Annabeth from me, make me look like a horrible person, then aid in my banishment. I know there are horrible people in this world, but really?"

SSSRHA's eye twitched. "Look, this is _my_ fic. You know what that means? _My_ rules! Bryan!" she snapped.

Bryan raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"You're a horrible person because I need a reason for Percy to resent everyone! How else am I going to turn him into a dark angst-fest, make him stupidly powerful, and revive all of my favorite characters?!"

"You could write an AU," Percy suggested. "You know, figure out a logical reason for your favorite characters not dying? Make me a naturally dark person? You don't have to force Bryan to be a horrible person."

Bryan let out a weary sigh. "I would like that very much. I've got a few hundred more fics to work in after this, and in all of them, I have the same cookie-cutter personality and generic name. It's kind of insulting. I didn't expect this when I signed up for an acting job."

"But _I'll_ be different!" SSSRHA insisted. "I'll make the best Chaos story there is! Percy will have more angst! Bryan, you'll be an evil stupid-mind! Annabeth will just have horrible judgment skills! Nico will be the only good guy who's still at Camp! And Chaos will adore Percy and make him his heir!"

"...I think you've just described the plot of every generic Chaos fic out there," Bryan muttered.

SSSRHA wilted. "But...but I _love_ Chaos fics! Percy is always a badass! I want Percy to be a badass!"

"Then make me a badass!" Percy said. "You can write a Chaos fic, we can't stop you, but try mixing it up a bit! Make me _work_ to become a badass instead of just saying 'And so Chaos placed him in his army' and doing a few-hundred-year time-skip!"

SSSRHA was silent. "...Nah. Alright, back in positions people! Bryan, remember, it's 'I didn't need your help!'"

Bryan just shook his head. "Sorry, I'm done with you for today. I got another gig over on Wattpad-"

"No!" SSSRHA yelled. "Come on, at least let us finish the first scene!"

Bryan sighed. "Sorry, but I've got to go. Don't worry, I'll come back and be a horrible person tomorrow. Bye!"

And Bryan turned around and seemingly disappeared into thin air.

All was silent.

Then there was a giant rip in the space-time continuum and out of it walked a man with devilishly handsome features, seemingly made of the cosmos.

He looked around and blinked. "...oh. Did the scene not start yet?"

"No!" SSSRHA snapped. "You're not supposed to come until chapter three!"

Chaos chuckled sheepishly. "Sorry about that…"

And he, too, disappeared.

The only people left in the clearing were Percy and SSSRHA.

The demigod sighed. "Well, looks like I'm done here for today. I need to go to another fic and play Truth or Dare, so…"

SSSRHA nodded miserably. "Yeah, yeah, I get it. Bye."

Percy offered his author an apologetic look.

In the end, the story got published and all was well.

Until SSSRHA abandoned it.

 **THE END**

* * *

 **This was way too amusing to write. And no, I have never written a Chaos fic, but I've read quite a few.**

 **Anyway, remember to Favorite, Follow, and Review! This is SSSRHA, signing out!**


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